Presented in a chronological order, so that folks new to the series can follow somewhat of an arc that will give an indication of why Buffy is an important character and why the show left such a mark on the cultural landscape. But mostly on me.

Prophecy Girl – Season 1, Episode 12 (Finale)

Prophecy Girl: Buffy gets real.

What you need to know:

The first season received due criticism for being a camp, monster-of-the-week serial, but as the writers began to understand their characters, something truly unique emerged. The Master (Milwaukee native Mark Metcalf) managed to be menacing and mirthful at once, setting the standard for Buffy villains, though many would surpass him in importance to the series.

Why I love it:

The scene where Buffy learns of the prophecy and tries to quit is one of the most powerful performances Sarah Michelle Gellar has given and hinted at what the series would become. Certainly, it suffered from some Dawson’s Creek melodrama, but its portrayal of teen angst reached beyond its contemporaries into the realm of literature. And her renewed vigor when fighting The Master is simply the Buffy-est of moments. She quips boldly and fights the way we all wish we could.

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DDO, or Dungeons and Dragons Online, had a pre-order beta test pre-play gig going on last week, and despite myself I decided to pick up a copy. I say “despite myself” because my impression before reading up on the game was that it was going to follow in the molds of its MMORPG predecessors and be a wholly unfulfilling prospect, (with the notable exception of WoW, which feels like its own type of game in my mind.)

After reading up on it, several enticing aspects drew my attention.

• No “killing fields” where players simply devastate populations of wild animals or tribes of humanoids to gain the dubious experience that makes them more powerful.
• Close adherence to 3rd edition D&D corebook rules, which as a very critical gamer I find to be streamlined and simple, yet capable of producing complex results.
• All quests are “instanced,” meaning that everything is reset for you and your group specifically. Like Guild Wars, you don’t wait for a specific thing to “respawn” due to someone else having just completed the same quest.
• A sincere focus on making every quest interesting and detailed. No “kill X number of Y creature” or “find X number of Y doodad by killing Z creature,” etc.
• Experience granted on a per dungeon basis. You get quest XP plus bonuses based on the way you solved the dungeon. A rogue gets mischief/stealth bonuses, a fighter gets ransack and assault bonuses, etc.

All this adds up to a game that doesn’t feel like a MMORPG. Or maybe feels like a MMORPG was meant to be.
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I’m wicked busy this week, but I saw Batman Begins twice on opening weekend. That should give you some inkling of how incredibly good it is.

For Mother’s Day, MHG suggested we take her mum to see Kingdom of Heaven when she got into town. I’m a bad son and had been too distracted to solidify plans with my mother to do anything. She’s a busy lady, so I’m sure she got a lot done in my absence.

This was not a film I had expected to see. In fact, being without television and radio for most of the time, I hadn’t heard a thing about it. MHG mentioned something about the crusades and Liam Neeson, which was enough to pique my interest, and apparently her mother’s. Apart from the brief Liam Neeson in the very beginning, however, I think I left more satisfied than she.

Ridley Scott produced and directed this epic about Jerusalem, with no attempt to veil the subtextual message about the Iraqi War. The opening credits of his production company, Scott Free, gave the impression of a very film-student-oriented approach. And for the first hour and a half or so, you can see why this director has earned his spurs and that he may be making an attempt to return to his film roots. Scott makes Orlando Bloom into a quiet, principled and simple man. And you believe that Bloom has spent many a hard year as a blacksmith (again) and humble servant of God.

Until he talks too much. I would have to characterize Bloom’s acting in the same way as I do Keanu Reeves, at least in this film. I don’t harp on Reeves in the same way most do; Reeves has very expressive face and body language, and often performs well enough. It is his voice which is flat and lacking in emotion, even when he strains to convince the audience otherwise. In this way, he is suited fairly well to action heroes or quiet types.

Similar is Orlando Bloom, whose face tells a great story. But when left in the climax of the film to rally the troops, his speech and presence fail and what could have brought this film to the peak of an emotional crescendo instead drops it flat on its face. Bloom’s slack is picked up admirably by strong-faced newcomer Ghassan Massoud, but not enough to balance the two sides. Scott does a fine job of making neither side seem like the “bad guy,” but you end up admiring Saladin (Massoud) and dreading another speech by Balein (Bloom).

Even when you accept the good writing/bad delivery scenario, the director trips again, this time into the typical Ridley Scott fascination with shakily-shot, gory battle scenes. The defense of Jerusalem goes on far too long, despite the realism of stretching a battle over several days. Soon, the violence is glossed over. The ground-stirring speeches attempting to raise morale are off-handedly played by Bloom, who looks more like an actor who’s got nowhere to go than a war-weary general trying to fight on principle.

The love story is a laughable echo of that from Gladiator, and the latter third of the film seems like Scott’s gotten into a rut similar to Mel Gibson’s hero-mold from Braveheart.

This film will make you believe in its greatness, even with a heavy-handed message about peace in the Middle East. (MHG: “I didn’t need that last byline or whatever; I got the point.”) Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons, David Thewlis and I guess Edward Norton or Jon Finch (King Baldwin and Jerusalem are credited; I’m not sure who is who) deliver star-cementing performances (welcome back, Jeremy).

If possible, cut the movie’s war scenes by 50% and most of Bloom’s speeches and you’ve really got something. Knowing Ridley Scott’s idea of pacing though, the director’s cut will probably feature 22 more minutes of beautifully shot boredom.

Most-Honoured Girlfriend helped me celebrate the passing of years with a trip to Broadway Baby, a dinner theatre North of Milwaukee. My lack of interest in birthday-related celebrations notwithstanding, my belly had its fair share of laughs, after more than its fair share of prime rib.

Dinner was tasty enough and the service was excellent. So, despite my trepidation at the somewhat cramped theatre, the 5 to 1 ratio of elderly to young person, and the attached bar, I was welcoming a little bit of musical madcap. And I received it.

The show regaled us with relationship humour common to most stand-up routines, with a few clever lines thrown in and some over-the-top characters to help with the hyperbole. Overall, the writing and music are about what one expects from an off-broadway show. And, although I was not “enchanted” or some similarly unctuous term over-used by critics, I was pleasantly entertained.

The live theatre atmosphere communicated the joy that the actors shared in playing their roles. Enthusiasm of that degree rarely gets expressed through the multiple-take medium of film. I was also impressed with the use of space; the stage was somewhat small, but the actors seemed completely comfortable, belying the close proximity of the audience. And we were able to take away a phrase that we will use to symbolize when we’re being assholes and we know it : “So chooo-ooose ME, Mr. Video Man.” Yeah, you hadda be there.

Music: 6/10 (referring to composition, not performance)
Direction: 8/10
Acting & Musical Performance: 8/10
Writing: 7/10

Overall: 8/10

A Series of Unfortunate Events was viewed by me last night (apparently in the passive voice) and I have to say that it was quite charming. I expected it to be interesting visually, and it certainly fulfilled that promise, but as a film it impressed me. Somehow, it created that same sense of (in MHG’s words) child-like adventure that very few films have managed. It had a Goonies quality, a Young Sherlock Holmes quality, and *yes* a Harry Potter quality to it.

Though the screenplay rarely varied from the schlock family movie standbys, the story remained intact in the hands of a competent and loving director and cinematographer. And while the kids in the film played straight man to Jim Carrey’s handful of remarkable characters, they did so with an earnest quality rarely seen in actors so young. Even the subtitled young girl avoided Jar-Jar or monkey territory.

Stick around for the end titles, too, as I would gladly have paid another eight dollars to have them go on for a few more hours. I theorize that they may have pitched those credits for the opening and were turned down based on tone, but could not be turned away, so talented are the animators.

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First, some trailers for everday life. Guess where I got the link from? I’ll give you three tries. Damn. Yes, it was Czeltic Girl.

Second, let me just say that I like adventure. I know that Temple of Doom was the worst of the Indiana Jones movies; so horrible, in fact, as to make purchasing the 3-DVD pack a bit of a gamble. I still enjoy watching it.

In that light, Sinbad is quite good. It has an epic scale with characters that are straight out of legend: unstoppable swordfighters, a spidery lookout, a good and noble king, and a goddess who delights in chaos. Each adventure within the story seems like a mini-episode of a well-made animated television series. And although the film suffers from Disney and Katzenberger’s touch for putting “everything” in the story, the tale is exciting enough to warrant some distractions.

Not that there weren’t mistakes made. Comic relief was already well-handled by the script and the peripheral characters. Anthropomorphizing a dog smacked of Jar-Jar Binks. Thankfully, the dog had a small part and was nearly forgettable, if unforgivable. Also, the strong female is fast becoming (if not already) a stock character that this movie could have done without. Sinbad eventually discovers in himself that he is more than just a thief, but a hero (Spoiler!) but the dynamicism would have been more effective if the viewer didn’t get the feeling that he “did it for a girl.”

Much like “The Time Machine” (the book) makes a bolder statement (than the movie) if the main character created the machine for his passionate devotion to science and progress and not simply to save the life of one person, Sinbad’s self-awareness is less about a personal awakening and more about getting with the girl of his dreams. This use of thrown-in romance as motivation cheapens the character’s ideals in too many movies. I’m all for love, and I think it can be a determining factor in a dynamic character’s epiphany, but not EVERY character does what they do for love. Even heroes sometimes have other ideals in mind.

For animation, it gets high marks. As is common now, they blended computer animation with old standards, though not as seamlessly as they could have. Although I’ve never been entirely comfortable with the animation style of Dreamworks, I must admit that they created some incredible effects with the goddess of chaos. Despite her feminine features, she seemed entirely inhuman, a being who twists reality around her like we would gesture with our hands. Bravo to the animators on that team.

This is not a high-concept, challenging film; however, it is an entertaining one.

One of the most beautifully executed films I’ve seen, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind redeems my faith in good movie-making. With the Hollywood machine churning out a daily ration of schlock, it’s refreshing to have a screenwriter who takes you on an unexpected and visually stunning ride, while never losing sight of the message. In the end, Eternal Sunshine is a romantic comedy, with all the trappings, and none of the trapped feeling.
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As my first Netflix choice, I think it’s fitting that it also be the first full review of a movie that I have written.

From the promotional trailers, Johnny English looks to be another doof-in-position-of-undeserved-power movie, a remake of The Tuxedo or The Man Who Knew Too Little. Like the latter, however, the movie’s lead brings to the otherwise predictable premise enough comedic punch to forgive the film’s shortcomings.
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I don’t know how to review this movie, but I also don’t know how not to review this movie. I’m going to be hearing criticism and praise on all sides, but I want my impression of it to be pure at least in one place.

“Kill Bill” flaunts what is great about American cinema while being an homage to American cinema’s past and still appeals to those who consider American Pie to be cinema.

You don’t have to read the rest. There are spoilers. Not ruining ones, but some people are purists. I’ll complain about that later.
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