My list for immediate moving concerns is as follows. The main issue I have here is that things are open only during the day when I am working, or directly after when I am at rehearsal. All online services for managing these things have met with various ridiculous obstacles, which I detail below.

1. Change address with bank
2. Buy boxes
3. Goodwill run
For good reason, I actually have to go into the bank itself to make this change. And the others require my attendance personally, I understand.

4. Schedule cable (switch to AT&T Uverse?)
Despite assurances from my new landlord, AT&T’s web site claims that their cable service is unavailable in my new apartment. Time Warner’s site is equally useless as it simply delivers an error when I put in my ZIP code or address to apply for service.

5. Change of address
USPS’s site is usually totally awesome about this, but this time when I get to the charging of my bank card $1 to prove my identity, the site balks because my bank has the 5-digit number, but the site wants to use the 9-digit number and won’t let me switch it. So I have to do that manually as well.

6. Double-check Uhaul reservation
I can only do this by calling the store that made my reservation. Which store that might be is a mystery to me, as my online reservation found the “nearest available store” and never gave me an address or phone number. The number was texted to me, despite my indication on the online form that email is the best way to contact me. Then I had to make changes to the reservation due to availability of trucks, so it’s very likely my reservation is no longer in the system and I will find this out way too late to make other arrangements.

7. Bring attic boxes down to main level
8. Cancel Snap Fitness
Were it not for actually having to turn in my little swiper card, I would not forgive this place for not letting me handle this online.

I have not even ten minutes any time during this week to handle ANY of these things. I really should have waited an extra month before moving. It seems I must have angered the internet gods so that they want me to wade through the Red Tape Sea in person. And I can’t. Where’s my goddamn clone assistant?