For Mother’s Day, MHG suggested we take her mum to see Kingdom of Heaven when she got into town. I’m a bad son and had been too distracted to solidify plans with my mother to do anything. She’s a busy lady, so I’m sure she got a lot done in my absence.

This was not a film I had expected to see. In fact, being without television and radio for most of the time, I hadn’t heard a thing about it. MHG mentioned something about the crusades and Liam Neeson, which was enough to pique my interest, and apparently her mother’s. Apart from the brief Liam Neeson in the very beginning, however, I think I left more satisfied than she.

Ridley Scott produced and directed this epic about Jerusalem, with no attempt to veil the subtextual message about the Iraqi War. The opening credits of his production company, Scott Free, gave the impression of a very film-student-oriented approach. And for the first hour and a half or so, you can see why this director has earned his spurs and that he may be making an attempt to return to his film roots. Scott makes Orlando Bloom into a quiet, principled and simple man. And you believe that Bloom has spent many a hard year as a blacksmith (again) and humble servant of God.

Until he talks too much. I would have to characterize Bloom’s acting in the same way as I do Keanu Reeves, at least in this film. I don’t harp on Reeves in the same way most do; Reeves has very expressive face and body language, and often performs well enough. It is his voice which is flat and lacking in emotion, even when he strains to convince the audience otherwise. In this way, he is suited fairly well to action heroes or quiet types.

Similar is Orlando Bloom, whose face tells a great story. But when left in the climax of the film to rally the troops, his speech and presence fail and what could have brought this film to the peak of an emotional crescendo instead drops it flat on its face. Bloom’s slack is picked up admirably by strong-faced newcomer Ghassan Massoud, but not enough to balance the two sides. Scott does a fine job of making neither side seem like the “bad guy,” but you end up admiring Saladin (Massoud) and dreading another speech by Balein (Bloom).

Even when you accept the good writing/bad delivery scenario, the director trips again, this time into the typical Ridley Scott fascination with shakily-shot, gory battle scenes. The defense of Jerusalem goes on far too long, despite the realism of stretching a battle over several days. Soon, the violence is glossed over. The ground-stirring speeches attempting to raise morale are off-handedly played by Bloom, who looks more like an actor who’s got nowhere to go than a war-weary general trying to fight on principle.

The love story is a laughable echo of that from Gladiator, and the latter third of the film seems like Scott’s gotten into a rut similar to Mel Gibson’s hero-mold from Braveheart.

This film will make you believe in its greatness, even with a heavy-handed message about peace in the Middle East. (MHG: “I didn’t need that last byline or whatever; I got the point.”) Liam Neeson, Jeremy Irons, David Thewlis and I guess Edward Norton or Jon Finch (King Baldwin and Jerusalem are credited; I’m not sure who is who) deliver star-cementing performances (welcome back, Jeremy).

If possible, cut the movie’s war scenes by 50% and most of Bloom’s speeches and you’ve really got something. Knowing Ridley Scott’s idea of pacing though, the director’s cut will probably feature 22 more minutes of beautifully shot boredom.