I ush.

Surprisingly, my duties as usher were more nerve-wracking than my time as best man in September. Apart from the possibility of a crasher, there were monumental tasks, colossal feats such as seating people, lighting candles, and … seating people.

All right, from the forced perspective of actually writing it down, it seems easy, I’ll give you that. But not having seen the bride face-to-face in three years and knowing close to no one else, having to tell them where to sit and having the entire ceremony in mind made me nervous at the time. The other bouncer was the bride’s cousin, and together we looked quite a pair. Apart from our jokes about forming some sort of tag team wrestling duo, we had little in common. Still, like everyone involved or attending, he was good people.

The groom’s family were all short people, which made it a little awkward for either of us beefy Wisconsin boys to escort his mother, who was the tiniest of them all. When all was said and done, however, we had only missed one cue and it was at the wedding planner’s insistence to “leave the runner.” It turned out to be good advice, as releasing the pews into the receiving line took long enough as it was, even with the attendance whittled down by inclement weather.

I was early to everything this weekend, a fact that would no doubt shock most people who know me. MHG and I stayed at the church, as I was in a few photos, then attempted to hang around long enough to not be too early to the reception. Unfortunately, we had nothing to do, and so ended up at the reception as early as we were to everything else.

To be continued…