Weeks ago, as I toiled over some vastly important work project that has since passed into anonymity, an email arrived from an old friend. She had news, so the message read, and she wanted to be certain that she had the right email address. Soon after, I learned that she was to be married. She asked me to usher the event, and I agreed without hesitation.

The husband-to-be is a soldier and since he will leave for active duty soon, they pushed their wedding forward. Many people asked them why, with the possibility of his never returning, they would choose to rush the marriage. The simple answer eluded them, I suppose. As a conscientious man, the groom wishes to be assured that his fiancé will be provided for in the event of his death. Not to mention, as a soldier leaving for war, he might want to be assured of spending quality time with his beloved before duty calls.

So, the drama is in place. This man, who I have never met, will in three days be married to my old and dear friend. And then, in a few months, he will be off to war. The time table is short, and she is traditional in her ways, meaning that the wedding will be a large Christian affair and will require a great deal of planning. And if the pressure at this point is not enough to bear…

There’s an ex-girlfriend. And she’s casting impunity on the character of my friend’s fiancé. I haven’t any details and I wouldn’t hand them out if I did. But several philosophical questions have arisen.

One, do I assume, as is so often the case in these Jerry Springer type troubles, that there is at least some truth to the ex-girlfriend’s statements? Although the bride-to-be’s faith in him is strong, I have no grounds to believe him over the ex. Does my loyalty lie with my friend’s faith or with my own doubt? To serve my friend is to be removed from emotion in this case and be prepared for the worst, in case it is true.

Two, because it is now my place as a friend and as a hopefully just man to proceed as though he is thoroughly innocent of the crimes, am I justified in “handling” the ex should she turn up for some reason? After all, as a friend and an usher, I want to make sure the wedding goes off without a hitch. Well, with just the one, I suppose. Or is it best to stand back in this instance and let the scene unfold as it must?

Let us hope that these questions remain philosophical and not practical.

3/18 update: I’ve met the groom-to-be, and my instincts do not lead me to believe that he would allow my friend to come to any harm due to malicious intent or simple mistake. I am led to believe that his ex is crazy and if she shows up for whatever reason, I will step in.