In May, I finally get to fight on stage in a major production at the Skylight. It’s been a long time since I have been allowed to use these skills as an actor, rather than a teacher or fight director. I hope I can impress. My skills are not flashy as a fighter, but I have honed them to be effective storytelling devices. I wonder frequently whether that matters in a world increasingly interested in the superhuman.

To that end, I am auditioning tonight for Cyrano de Bergerac. Of the people in the city at this level, I feel uniquely suited to the task, but I can only imagine that they have someone else in mind. I don’t thin you start attempting Cyrano without a lead in mind. Still, my wife has been kind in her talk of pride in me for simply making the attempt. Following the dream and whatnot. That great confidence I once had in myself would certainly come in handy here, but I have difficulty recapturing it. I audition well with cold readings, though, so I guess we’ll see whether I have enough talent to overcome my typecasting.

Most of my day consists of solving problems for others and of attempting to carve out time “for myself.” In reality, I stave off depression with a strict schedule of exercise, meditation, journaling, and chores. At least — I tell myself — I complete tasks. At least I contribute that much.