Yesterday, I took the day off and played Dungeons of Dredmor all day while I meditated. Ironically, I neglected to actually meditate. I ate Taco Bell and ice cream, and binge-watched nearly all of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which allowed me to try and figure out how I can allow myself to enjoy a day like that. I always feel guilty that I’m not getting other things done. Being married means that I’m always worried about how my “roommate” will react to things I do on my own. Marcee has never been mad about me taking a day off, but it still does not feel private. I don’t want anyone to know when I slack off to that extent, because people can’t know what goes on in my head when I’m doing that.

But why should I care so much even if they did? Why should I feel the need to be thinking big thoughts while I’m goofing off for a day, typically to recover. I’m glad to know my friends think highly of me. I should join them in that feeling. Not about them, but about me. I always feel like my friends are superb people.

I have achieved so much with stage combat, and I hope to be able to make more out of it. Could I fight through the lack of an MFA to teach at a college? It’s difficult, and I am tired. Could I do it, or is it beyond what is possible?