Our production meeting last night for Bachelorette filled me with hope again for theatre. As Aaron and I geeked out over our nerdy obsession with stage magic, Mark and Marcee and Erica plotted out the necessaries for us to go forward boldly into a dark and hilarious show.

I performed a few sleight of hand card tricks for Aaron, who, despite my unpracticed clumsiness, showed genuine appreciation. We have so much in common, I’m surprised that we haven’t ever connected more meaningfully. Maybe our mutual cynicism bars it, maybe only mine. Regardless, I think Bachelorette will continue to show us how similar we are as people, even if his is the greater share of talent and wisdom.

This afternoon, I introduce myself to a new high school theatre program to which Leda recommended me. I continue to feel undervalued, even as I make these inroads; nonetheless, it seems that I might actually make my living doing theatre, even as I prepare to abandon it. If I can make training workshops pay, and swallow the times when people rudely suggest that my craft needs so little time to perform, I may be able to fight direct as a profession. Wasn’t that always the goal? I must learn to accept small victories on the way to the greater battle.

I promised Doug at Racine Theatre Guild that I would respond to his request for me to direct for him in February. I’m torn about the project, but the opportunity to learn goads me into perhaps taking a hit. Again, I can make a living doing this, if I focus on directing, working backstage, and offering training opportunities. I still wonder if getting my MFA would make all of this simpler, despite the obvious trouble it creates in everything else. I have to decide soon, I suppose. I wish universities would not bar someone based on that piece of paper. I offer as much, perhaps more, than many who have that degree. Do they value time in academia over real-world experience and training? I definitely have proven my stage combat abilities to be greater than most. Why should that not suffice? And will I win this fight, or is that paper an insurmountable obstacle?