Whenever I tell someone I’m too busy for something, their immediate response is to explain to me how busy they are. Rarely am I actually convinced that they are somehow too busy, but they like to compete on hecticness of lives. One mile in my shoes…just one. I have a fair amount of empathic sense for other people and how they tread, and I often catch myself simply being cynical, but please believe me when I say: I’m busier than you are.

I’m not making an excuse, or polite conversation. Nor am I bitching, in reality. If I say to you I am too busy, it means I have no more than fifteen minutes of free time that day that is not dedicated to sleep. If I go into detail, it is ENTIRELY because no one believes someone who simply says, “I’m too busy that week.”

So if you have to go to the bank AND the grocery store in the same day, don’t tell me. Just say, “Shit, man, maybe next time.” And I won’t eviscerate you in my imagination and intentionally ignore you the next time I am free. Fair warning to those who call themselves my friend.

p.s. Those of you who know me: if you think I’ve given up on people, you ain’t seen nothing yet.