Amazon is sly.
Czeltic Girl and I sometimes play a game called Gold Box Smackdown. We click through our Amazon gold box and see who gets the most ludicrous item suggested to them. This has resulted in much hilarity.
The downside to this game is that in order to send the links to one another, we must actually click on the item to view the page. This skews our Amazon recommendations (tortured analogy ahead) the way seeing a rhino can skew the path of your African savannah tour.
Today, Amazon thinks I am a sexually frustrated college freshman. Female.
Gold Box items (clicked on to send to Czeltic Girl):
WaterPik NVFL-621VV Flexible Shower Massage
Comments: Yeah, if I was a girl. Look at that thing; it looks like a dildo crossed with a Giger alien.
Sex and the City – The Complete First Season (DVD)
Comments: Yeah, if I was a girl with a retarded libido.
Weight Watchers WW10 Compact Precision Electronic Scale
Comments: Yeah, if I was a girl with a retarded libido and a poor self-image.
So, what does Amazon recommend for this girl? Maybe you can guess.
Strangely, until around the year 2000 I was a huge Tori Amos fan. This had the unpleasant effect of attracting lovely females to me who thought I was too sensitive to want my penis touched. Luckily for me, her albums since marriage and childbirth have been repetitive and lackluster. Also, I grew a pair. Still, I guess Amazon’s tracking works, eh?
I’m still so disappointed my gold box didn’t show up today. It’s been such a long time since we’ve had a good smackdown. You’d have won today, though, I suspect. Well, maybe not, if my recommendations have anything to do with the content of my gold box. (Zardoz. WTF?)
Comment by czeltic girl — 9/23/2004 @ 2:55 pm
Damn, they got your gold box and mine mixed up today! All I got were recommendations for a RealDoll, some weird SciFi flick, and twenty pounds of braised pork.
Comment by Tazja — 9/23/2004 @ 3:07 pm
my brother’s tivo thought he was gay.
Comment by Meg — 9/23/2004 @ 6:47 pm
Wha? Now if I actually had a lawn, this might be up my alley. I also got a lot of tacky jewelry in my gold box, and a spoon.
Comment by MHG — 9/23/2004 @ 9:49 pm
SPOON!
-The Tick
There Is No Spoon.
-Neo
Comment by Tazja — 9/24/2004 @ 1:47 pm
MHG — think of all the fun you could have with that lawn contraption, lawn or not.
Or maybe just set it loose on your neighbor’s lawn. And by “lawn” I mean “living room carpet.”
Comment by czeltic girl — 9/29/2004 @ 2:56 pm