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8/9/2004

An open letter that will most certainly manufacture change.

Dear Microsoft,

I’ll keep this simple: your browser sucks. Why is it that every other major browser can follow the standards that allow webwrights like me to create lovely, fluid and advanced sites? Meanwhile, you with your automatic updates and security changes weekly cannot even support some of the most basic aspects of CSS functionality (min-width springs to mind like a piece of wheat bread from a dangerously overtightened toaster slot.) Mind you, I’m not one for conformity. But, when your Luddite-like stubborn clinging to outdated technology forces me to constantly modify my code and use countless hacks on my aesthetically enchanting creations, when that happens…well, I just feel like killing you. Every day. And by that I mean not only that every day I feel like killing you, but also that I will breach that alchemical Holy Grail of immortality in order to have the pleasure of killing you every day.

Coridally yours,
Christopher

Filed under: Ennui | | Comments (19)

19 Comments

  1. I think MS doesn’t give a shit about IE because they are gunning for the death of the browser (in favor of rich clients, facilitated by web services and XAML). Still, good luck with your killings. Right now my murderous rage is directed toward people who still use ANSI C.

    Comment by Bjorn — 8/9/2004 @ 12:37 pm

  2. Fair enough. They’re not Luddites.

    But they’re fairly irresponsible to give up on the product when they still have 90% of the market, basically sending the message to web developers: “Conform to our standards or hear from your clients daily. Fuck you, webbie.”

    Comment by steelbuddha — 8/9/2004 @ 1:44 pm

  3. That toast analogy was lovely.

    IE is a dirty word in our household. Hm. Not a word. Dirty acronym?

    Comment by Tazja — 8/9/2004 @ 4:43 pm

  4. I downloaded Foxfire like the Ghost in the Machine told me to. I will now proceed to sacrifice virgins.

    Comment by Alfalfa Martini — 8/9/2004 @ 4:59 pm

  5. I totally agree that they are irresponsible, especially from a web dev perspective. As a developer of client-side apps though, I can’t help but fall for Visual Studio .NET. Granted, I think there are similar IDEs for Linux, such as KDevelop. I will take a look at those when I have some time.

    Comment by Bjorn — 8/9/2004 @ 7:37 pm

  6. Not everything Microsoft does ends up bad, but IE is a travesty.

    Comment by steelbuddha — 8/10/2004 @ 4:42 pm

  7. Just not a fan of something that ignores security breaches for months and months, to say nothing of the spyware, et al.

    Mmmmm, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmozilla!

    Comment by Tazja — 8/10/2004 @ 5:17 pm

  8. That’s so fucking great, you are my new hero.

    Comment by Miriam — 8/10/2004 @ 7:39 pm


  9. By the power of Greyskull, I Have The Power!

    Comment by Tazja — 8/11/2004 @ 10:43 am

  10. huh. My cheesy little “off topic, /off topic” brackets got absorbed. Whee!

    Comment by Tazja — 8/11/2004 @ 10:43 am

  11. Anything not listed in the “HTML allowed” disclaimer above the commenting fields will be stripped. Sorry.

    Comment by steelbuddha — 8/11/2004 @ 11:29 am

  12. I’ve been stripped by an unthinking, unfeeling machine.
    How very Orwellian.

    Comment by Tazja — 8/11/2004 @ 1:39 pm

  13. Tch. I realized I forgot to comment.

    You, sir, are a genius.

    Comment by czeltic girl — 8/11/2004 @ 6:02 pm

  14. You are an obnoxious twit.
    Lecturing people on which browser to use. Grow up you stupid child.

    Comment by Fred Flinstone — 12/16/2004 @ 7:15 pm

  15. As a personal friend of “Fred Flintstone”, i would have to say i disagree with him totally.

    The JavaScript lecture is brilliant. Can i borrow this code for my
    own web sites?

    Thanks a lot for making a stand.

    Comment by Keeper of The ICON — 12/17/2004 @ 2:03 am

  16. Were this not my own personal site, I might agree with you Fred. Also, if you had managed to spell Flintstone correctly, your argument might hold more water. But as someone who comes to my site, comments on my “lecturing,” and offers no counterpoint other than a lame insult, I am forced to take your opinion with a grain of salt.

    Keeper, you’re welcome to nab the code, so long as you make some sort of attribution to me, at least in the source or a post on your own site.

    Comment by steelbuddha — 12/19/2004 @ 9:05 pm

  17. Well it may be your personal website, and that’s fine and everything, you can do what you like.

    I happened by your website, and up pops 9 fucking message boxes and a refirection to Mozilla. Immediately I thought, “What a stund jackass this guy must be.”

    The smug remarks about spelling again put style before substance. Much like the tedium of your web browser rant. Yawn.

    I am just thankful that I have something more interesting to do with my life than to proselytize about web browsers.

    Comment by Fred Flinstone — 1/8/2005 @ 1:54 pm

  18. yes “refirection” should read re-direction.

    Comment by Fred Flinstone — 1/8/2005 @ 1:57 pm

  19. “I am just thankful that I have something more interesting to do with my life than to proselytize about web browsers.”

    Clearly.

    I am too ignorant to empathize with your outrage, I’m afraid, but I think I’ll take your sage advice and use my time more wisely than to make another attempt.

    Comment by steelbuddha — 1/11/2005 @ 4:50 pm

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