1. Grab the nearest book to you, turn to page 18, line 7. Read what it says:

“batch is equivalent to at -q b -m now.”
But I’ve never read that book.

2. Stretch out your left hand as far as you can. What do you touch first?

That book.

3. What was the last thing you watched on tv?

I honestly cannot remember. Better Off Dead, Buffy or Most Extreme Elimination Challenge would top my guess list. I watch pre-recorded TV almost exclusively, and not the TiVo kind.

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

3:30p.m.

5. Look at the clock. What time is the actual time?

3:44p.m.

6. With the exception of the computer, what do you hear?

Loreena McKennitt’s voice, a violin, Ken Hanson’s voice, a nondescript thumping, keys and mice clicking.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

This morning. Missing my girlfriend.

8. Before you did this survey, what were you looking at?

An HTML email I am to build.

9. What are you wearing?

A t-shirt, jeans, shoes, socks, briefs, contact lenses. Certainly nothing clever or telling.

10. Did you dream last night?

Most definitely, but I don’t remember anything.

11. When did you last laugh?

I laugh a lot. I suppose that’s good, but too many times it’s social, polite or nervous laughter. I genuinely laughed a lot this weekend.

12. What are on the walls in the room you are in?

They’re brick.

13. See anything weird lately?

I saw a sort of cubby rack hitched to the back of a minivan or SUV the other day. It was normal enough but to me it looked odd.

14. What do you think of this quiz?

I think my answers would be more clever if I cared more about the questions, but some of them seem a little contrived. I only feel duped by myself though for thinking that it would spark some creativity in my doldrums of a day.

Er, I mean, its AWESOME!!!1!

15. What was the last film you saw?

In theaters, Hellboy. At home, Bruce Almighty. Tonight’s selection is Waking Life, just in case anyone thinks I’ve lost any sort of whip-crack hip-smartness I may have feigned.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

City of Heroes.

17. Tell me something about you that I don’t know:

Who are you? It would seem if you have all these questions, I’ve already fulfilled this damn question. How about “I like Fruity Pebbles?”

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I would create a superhero.

19. Do you like to dance?

Sometimes. I don’t like being put on the spot about it.

20. George W. Bush:

is here for a limited time only, so buy now.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl.

All right.

22. Imagine your first child is a boy.

How much am I going to have to pay for that surgery? Is this what she really wants?

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes, but only after we’ve perfected instant transportation.