Apparently, acronyms are immune to standards and, indeed, organization.

“ISO (International Organization for Standardization) is the world’s largest developer of standards.”

Tsk, tsk. Clearly, they are only interested in double standards, as any web geek cringes looking at their table-laden, FrontPage code. Do what ISO says, ye quality controllers, not what they do.

It’s a similar sort of logic that has Amazon giving people entirely incongruous impressions of who I am.

This steelbuddha thing had its merits, to be sure, but an online moniker needs to be closer to the personality behind it. Although I’ve got the makings of a buddha forged from iron alloys, I think it more appropriate that you all refer to me by my newly realized pseudonym, Whiskers Merryweather.

By the by, rumandmonkey.com is simply the most perfect domain name I’ve heard to date.

Story below lifted from Applegeeks’ Emily Adamo:

“My baby brother turned 5 this St. Patty’s Day. Dude, that’s all of the fingers on one hand that’s had no accidents. He will proudly thrust his palm in your direction to demonstrate just how old he is.

He was opening some of his belated presents yesterday and and one of them was a big Superman figure and the other was a big Batman figure(from yours truly). I figured it was time to confront him with the question. Yes folks, THE question.

‘If there was a fight between Batman and Superman who would win?”‘
His little brow began to knit when suddenly, the light turned on. He turned to me excitedly and said…

‘ME!’

So, there’s a five year old’s perspective on the issue, folks. If Batman and Superman started fighting, my baby brother would show up and kick BOTH of their behinds.”

The greatest man living today returned from Scotland recently, and I had the opportunity to lay down some beats over which he created music. His family was gracious as always, and his sister was also home, which meant once again there were two Nelsons in the band. We refrained from Gunnar comments.

As I later would explain to his parents over the dinner table, Bjorn and I have a certain natural rhythm* to our meetings. We greet, exchange a few quick quips, then dive head-first and headily into what has become known as “the rock.” (Sean Connery impersonation or otherwise.)

Then we chat a little more while we decide if we want to play any covers. Eventually, we do play covers**, and then when my drumming muscles feel drained, we talk philosophy until his parents inevitably become so wonderfully hospitable that we cannot resist.

In short, last night relaxed me, being filled with creativity, exercise of a sort, and conversation so stimulating it is illegal in several states. Thanks, Bjorn.

* – no pun intended.

** – last night’s list included Too Good to be True, Bird on a Wire, So Cruel, How Many More Times, White Rabbit …and many many more!

I ripped this stuff off from other people, but baby, its the best I can do. I want the kids to have a Christmas.

Stop making movies. We don’t need anymore.

You do not want to piss this woman off. I’m less afraid of a phone-wielding, shaven-head, drooling Bruce Willis than this woman. And I’m afraid of that other thing.

One of the most beautifully executed films I’ve seen, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind redeems my faith in good movie-making. With the Hollywood machine churning out a daily ration of schlock, it’s refreshing to have a screenwriter who takes you on an unexpected and visually stunning ride, while never losing sight of the message. In the end, Eternal Sunshine is a romantic comedy, with all the trappings, and none of the trapped feeling.
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Does Mary Kate sometimes think: “I am SO much hotter than Ashley. That chick is such a skanky hag!”

Does Ashley ever think: “God, I am missing out on so many choice roles because of that no-talent hanger-on. I swear I had Ophelia nailed for the Royal Shakespeare Company until they read my name and started asking where Uncle Joey was.”

Regardless, is anyone else as depressed as I am that these two will be billionaires before they turn 18? How did that happen? Was Full House really pulling in the dough? Or are people actually buying those straight-to-video “movies” they’re making?

Oh…nevermind.

Please welcome Tazja Lovecraft to your blogging experience. And as much as she supposedly is in awe of my blog, she’s got way better material than I ever will.

I know her a little. She’s here. But soon, with any luck, she’ll be here.

The new Catwoman movie makes me wonder just what is up Hollywood’s butt. Catwoman, the holy pillar of sexy superheroines, now needs to bare her midriff and show some cleavage to pass the Hollywoody test? Jesus, have you seen Lee Meriweather? That catsuit put a lot of men my age into instant puberty. Though I don’t know what the makeup artist’s obsession with spiking Julie Newmar’s eyebrows was about.

At least they didn’t skimp on the story. “Let’s make her a hot zombie again, that worked for Tim Burton. And let’s make her a cosmetic saleswoman, because the living symbol for a strong woman oughta be not too bright and know how to make herself up for her man.

Who can we get to play her? Well, Halle Barry tests well in geek audiences having played Storm and a Bond girl. Plus, she won an Oscar and showed her boobies in Swordfish! Not to mention we can get a free ethnicity boon! Perfect!”

Despite the decidedly lame color-based names given to half of the characters, DC Comics are well-written and have some of the greatest characters in our modern mythos. Why can’t they take the Marvel route and follow the stories they already have? Spiderman was practically word for word* for the first hour, and it worked perfectly, even for the fanboys.

If my hopes for the new Batman movie are shattered by a steaming pile like Catwoman promises to be, I may have to swear off DC movies altogether. I’m sure they’re scared.

* – replacing the original “Radioactive” buzzword with the updated “Genetically Engineered”.

From alfalfa martini:

Are these trees also dangerous?

You are a forest shadow. Your essence is that of the tree or beast that casts you upon the earth. You feel a purpose to be in balance with the cycles of life and are wise and beautiful in your submission to the justice of Mother Nature. You are peaceful in nature and, though you feel small, your spirit is precious, strong, and mighty as the (green)forces with which it is affiliated.

Um. Sure, I am. That’s what I get for taking those, then.