It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

Bettis will retire after tonight as the No. 5 career rusher in league history, 13,622 yards. He plans to develop a blighted 43-acre site on the Detroit River, constructing residences, a hotel and an entertainment complex. He reigns supreme as a humble Motown hero, in odd contrast to the last individual awarded a key to the city: Saddam Hussein, 1980 version.

The deed prompted Father Jacob Yasso of Detroit to contact Mayor Coleman Young and arrange a Detroit key for Saddam Hussein.

Winston-Salem Journal | Super Bowl has come a long way in 40 years

Link via MetaFilter

The concept of celebrity took another hit in my world today, when I have now twice heard jokes at the expense of Kevin Federline, yet I still (without Googling) have no idea what (not who, mind) he is or where he came from. I will not increase his dubious fame by typing his name into a search engine. Only by printing his name on my blog.

However, I do know comedy when I see it, and Conan O’Brien has never let me down in that arena. The arena of comedy where CONAN is king! Let me tell you now of the days of high laughter!*

DevilDucky – Conan O’Brien: James Lipton reads Federline [link via BB]

* – You see that? I made an oft-unheard reference to Conan O’Brien having the same name as a certain barbarian.

if youve ever dealt with… well, anyone… thenthis site is for you. Although it can actually make you physically ill to be in the face of such stupidity, even third-hand. Such is the power of ignorance. Enjoy!

Clientcopia : Coping with stupid clients : Top 20

This learned little device made my day. I’m reminded of that old Monty Python skit where the customer comes for an argument, but first must listen to Graham Chapman call him a “vacuous, toffee-nosed (?), malodorous pervert.”

Abuse-a-tron

I am aware, from WoW mostly, that the Chuck Norris thing is long over the shark. When he appeared on the Tony Danza show and answered questions about the Chuck Norris facts website, that was a major blow to the dynasty.

Still, this SNL send-up recaptures the spirit of when the Chuck Norris jokes were young, by singing about when Chuck Norris himself was young.

YouTube – Young Chuck Norris – SNL

..:Things My Boyfriend Says:..

MHG’s brother, DJ Johnny Arson, identifies with this site. And he should, as should anyone who is under-appreciated. Which is everyone. Except that guy over there. Fuck him.

Be sure to check out the delivery stories. They’re the funniest part. And it may be the only place in the world you’ll read : GONA-MONA-HERPE-SYPHIL-AIDS.

Please Remember To Tip The Pizza Delivery Driver

Jonathan Coulton makes movies and songs, a thing a week. A very noble goal, so far with excellent results. Thanks to Czeltic Girl, her boy (Elroy?) and Keiko for keeping me informed.

Flickr movie
Baby Got Back

I reposted them on my site, but claim no credit for them. I’m just hoping to save Mr. Coulton some bandwidth and maybe have it load a little faster.

The Ho Brothers’ outstanding choreography, editing and ambition results in a wicked cool fan flick. I am jealous and inspired all at once, particularly in anticipation of the Winter Wonderland Workshop, where I will finally become a man. Sold out, SUCKERS.

Art of the Saber [google video, discovered at Screenhead]

In case you didn’t see this over at Czeltic Girl’s, you should check out Serenity acted out by paper dolls. Big-time spoilers; don’t go if you haven’t seen it.

Emergency Naptime Procedures Implelemted