I once thought of myself as a decent human beatbox. I am sub-standard, I now realize. I’ll be practicing, so posts will be limited.

I know I’m probably the last one aboard this meme-train, but somethingawful made my day. Maybe I’ll just change the name of this site to OFN.

Then, to top off my link larceny, Czeltic Girl sent me this life instruction booklet as well.

That’s cool. I’m officially changing the category of “Stolen from Better Researchers” to “Link Larceny.” And you were there.

Come sail away out of the Styx on an epic Journey in our…REO Speedwagon.

Look, this is the best I’ve got, so you may as well stop shaking your head. Oh, and your friendly neighborhood leptard-keeper did this better, I just found out.

This personality test is close, but there are some things I do not find in myself (naturally.) Examples: I’m not particularly fond of animals, sports, cars or jewelry. It’s quite a thought-provoking test. Thanks, once again, to Czelticgirl, who is not my wife.

You are an SECL–Sober Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a politician. You cut deals, you change minds, you make things happen. You would prefer to be liked than respected, but generally people react to you with both. You are very sensitive to criticism, since your entire business is making people happy.

At times your commitment to the happiness of other people can cut into the happiness of you and your loved ones. This is very demanding on those close to you, who may feel neglected. Slowly, you will learn to set your own agenda–including time to yourself.

You are gregarious, friendly, charming and charismatic. You like animals, sports, and beautiful cars. You wear understated gold jewelry and have secret bad habits, like chewing your fingers and fidgeting.

You are very difficult to dislike.

Irony alert: That last bit’s bound to piss some people off.

I do not usually allow my blog to become endorsement for products in specific. I like more to move people toward betterment in the way that the Buddha might. That’s why I feel comfortable, nay *compelled*, to recommend Gyneflex.

Not only is the product itself engineered for maximum effect while not offending a lady’s sensibilities, but the language is discrete and unhumiliating, while remaining frank about its subject matter*.

I’ve never been so impressed with a product, and I truly, truly believe that this new invention will change your life for the better. It’s already changed mine.

*- Ok, I modified that one a bit.

I don’t normally buy things on eBay, but this is quite a deal.

This Welsh martial art ad is possibly the coolest thing I’ve seen in months. Something about this design style always gets my attention.

Once again, from Czelticgirl, ’cause I can’t just leave her be. I don’t know how accurate it is. I may be tough, but I’m not necessarily violent. Anyone who wants to disagree can collect their free punch to the teeth in the line forming on my left.

Take the quiz: “Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? “

Pog mo thoin
Pog mo thoin – ‘Kiss my ass.’You’re one tough bastard, and if anyone doesn’t like it, they can kiss your ass. You enjoy fighting and causing grievous bodily harm. Hey! What are you lookin’ at, punk?

They’re right. Dick Cheney is one helluva poker player.

Anybody who writes like that and has commenters posting things like this:

I was playing poker last week with ashcroft. He had two pair and I had four kings. I thought I had him beat. When I showed him my cards, he siezed them and classified them as enemy combatants, Thus my cards lost their rights and were not subject to the rules of poker convention.

Well, those people get added to my links.

YES. YES. YES.

Alanis Morrissette wrote me a song.

“I Think”

I Think cars are really a huge problem
I Think pedestrians are too much on my mind
I Think lights have got a lot to do with why the world sucks
But what can you do?

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Langston Hughes line, which won’t let go of my brain
Like Amber’s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic

I Think horns are gonna drive us all crazy
And brakes make me feel like a child
I Think fingers will eventually be the downfall of civilization
But what can you do? I said what can you do?

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like a Langston Hughes line, which won’t let go of my brain
Like Amber’s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic

Like a green rain, beating down on me
Like Amber’s smile, cruel and cold
Like Langston Hughes’s ass, it is in my head
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic
Blame it on traffic