Er, yeah. Perhaps the director should follow his own advice from the end of this video. Because, I for one, was disturbed.
Link distributed by MeFi, in association with Czeltic Girl.
SPOILER: I did not EVER need to know about Carl Lewis’ mature white woman fetish. But this director determined it should be the climax of the video. And I use that term loosely and a bit embarrassingly.
I dig this song; it’s catchy and the video is certainly cleaver. *Cryptkeeper laugh*
I’ve seen this elsewhere, but today I posted it for Tim McKee and for prosperity.
Also, a late announcement: MHG, she has a blog that is slowly being pieced together between our viewings of Buffy episodes. She calls it Raggedy Android and it threatens to be the coolest thing ever. Cooler than Snoopy in that WWI pilot gear, cooler than Thulsa Doom, cooler even…than the movie Sidekicks*.
No, seriously it will be a worthy read, as it already has proven. Go peruse now, you ignorant bastard.
Bonus geek quotient points if one know the connection between Thulsa Doom and Sidekicks, which only revealed itself after I looked for the links.
Czeltic Girl still has not done her “About” page. Then again, neither have I. We both did this list, though (credit: she did it first of us, and she found it at Vidiot’s blog). My 100 things, plus this new thing, should give you a good idea of why you should talk to me from a distance and avoid eye contact.
Items in italics indicate that they apply to me.
01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink (I’m not cheap, I’ve just never had the reason and the money at the same time).
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone (plenty of showers, though. ;) )
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
Dress your kids like idiots and you can be certain they will someday be famous. The abused find fame one way or another.
Granted, I’m not funny, but at least on the surface this seems like something of which I should be a part.
My 23-year-old self might actually have made significant contributions to the comedy, but I’m all washed up like a Brando character now. I can still kick people pretty well, though.
Czeltic Girl pointed me to the ultimate realization of my ennui in the workplace, for she is MIGHTY. I have made it my mantra, and thus I have made it my desktop. (link coming soon).
Of particular note is Commandment 4, which is more telling than certain nameless shills at my company would like to admit.
Also, recognize the satire of Commandment 8: “Warm smiles” indicate acknowledgement of the absurd system. “Warm smiles” are not evidenced by those “in the Matrix.”
..proudly presents howtofoldashirt.net.
And also, a truly humble man. Before you sit in judgment, the funny part of this is not that he slipped a bit while performing a STANDING MOTHERFUCKING BACKFLIP. None of you would probably even get that close. The funny part isn’t how hard he falls, either. Nor is the funny part the genuine concern evidenced by the people behind the camera for their friend who has probably done this routine several times without incident.
No, the funny part is actually two things: a) that he attempted to continue, however deleriously, when he could have simply started over and b) that someone he knows must have posted this. Someone to whom he APOLOGIZED for having beefed it on a STANDING MOTHERFUCKING BACKFLIP.
Oh and c) that he can probably kick my ass.
Second one from Keiko, who sends funny movies.
MHG and I had our anniversary last Friday night at the Mitch Hedberg/Stephen Lynch extravaganza. The comedy was divine. I have one complaint.
Folks, as funny as tried-and-true five-liners are, I pay to hear new material. If you want to hear a specific joke, listen to the CD. Hedberg’s not a lounge singer and he is not your personal jester. Strangely, Stephen Lynch, who sings SONGS, received no requests. And during his ComedySportz-style improv section, people requested things already requested by audience members on his CD.
If you want to have the same entertainment regurgitated to you repeatedly, do not go to concerts. Just play the MP3 over and over again until your brain melts. Please. For all our sakes.
To continue my night of the living braindead, MHG took me out for dessert where we had the misfortune of sitting across from a foursome of twenty-somethings whose conversations were so disgustingly and laugably stereotypical that I could only use David Cross’ words to describe them when MHG returned to the table: “Rich, giggling cunts.” Four Paris Hilton clones yammering on about their bosses who won’t let them play Beyoncé and “Justin” over the stereo. Good on you, you unseen bosses.
One was even wearing a t-shirt proclaiming herself “Mrs. Timberlake.” Mind you, these were grown women sipping cocktails, women whose vaginas have no doubt been excavated by the most neanderthal of Corvette-drivers. I repeat some modern wisdom: “Do you sleep with 12-year-olds? Then why do you listen to their music?” God, this country deserves Bush.
Link via Keiko, who also revamps her website.
Wanna know why I’m voting for Kerry?
A question: Why is it that when Clinton lied about getting a blowjob in the White House, which meant nothing to ANYone but the press, he was impeached? But when W lied about Iraq having ties with Al-Qaeda, developing Weapons of Mass Destruction, and housing enough wealth to rebuild without support from the U.S., we hear no such talk?
Is getting a blowjob and lying about it to save face somehow worse than killing 1000 young Americans and countless Iraqis in order to avenge your father and make your friends rich?
I’ll have to think that over.
Is it punk or is it puritanical?
On my walk into work from my car this morning, I passed a pickup truck parked near MIAD. It had two bumper stickers: “Marriage: One Man, One Woman” and (another that I will paraphrase because my memory is failing me) “Abortion: Two patients enter, only one comes out alive!”
Putting aside for the moment the Thunderdome tone of the second (which existed even outside of my paraphrase), my placid mood turned turgid upon reading these. This was not a rugged pickup truck covered in mud and confederate flags with a gun rack in the back, where stickers promoting such ignorance might be commonplace. No, this was a small Toyota pickup, clean, with still plenty of traction in the tires. The bumper stickers were even in perfect condition, not even showing signs of being in rain, much less hard conditions.
The truck was parked near MIAD, indicating that the owner was likely a student. How could an art student who benefits nothing from a Republican president be so misled? A speech by Governor (choke) Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Republican National Convention spells out what it means to be a Republican. The outright lies in this speech are so obvious to anyone with a brain, I’m surprised he was not booed off the stage. As handler of the 6th largest economy in the world, one should not accuse the people worried about it of being “girlie men” when their family cannot eat.
So, as the image of this pickup sunk in, I realized that this was the truest representation of the Republican party. I seriously considered bashing in the windows of the truck, just so that the wealthy white father of the young fool could help out a working class fellow. I had to swallow the instinct, however. I feel vindicated that I am not as bad as some of the more idiotic supporters of Bush in at least that regard.
Instead, let me paraphrase the Governator (a term I use not ironically, since Mr. Schwarzenegger is so fond of using his movies in his political dealings) and ask some questions that can clarify whether you are a Republican.
If you believe that government should be accountable to the (rich), not the (rich) to the government…then you are a Republican! If you believe a (heterosexual, white, dubiously-Christian male) should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group… then you are a Republican! If you believe (the military) knows how to spend your money better than the government does… then you are a Republican! If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children (despite the fact that they are given no money or benefits) … then you are a Republican! If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world … then you are a Republican! (I don’t need to touch that one) And, ladies and gentlemen …if you believe we must be fierce and relentless (and blind to logic) and terminate (Muslims, and in Arnold’s case, Jews) … then you are a Republican!
There is another way you can tell you’re a Republican. You have (blind) faith in (oligarchies), (blind) faith in the resourcefulness of the (extremely rich to circumvent any and all laws for their own benefit) … and (blind) faith in the U.S. economy(‘s dependence on oil). To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: “(Fuck you, asshole!)”
This is what we get. Elect Conan and watch him stick his fingers in his ears singing “la la la, Have faith in Krom; he will make the economy better!”
Huge thanks to Dynagirl for the links.
